Individual Therapy–Self Care For Me

Right after Dave’s second attempt, I felt like I was falling apart. I would come home and see Dave’s car in the carport and think, “Oh please, don’t let me walk in there and find him hanging!” If he was getting a little irritated with me, I feared he was tipping toward an attempt. I was afraid to voice my irritations with him. Fear and anxiety were taking over my life.

So two months after his second attempt I requested individual therapy.

Individual therapy helped because I didn’t have to censor what I said. My therapist helped me process my feelings about my husband, Dave, in it’s very rawest stage, in the safety of four walls. During the session I could craft the language in a style that Dave, my husband, could hear and take in and prevent him from walling me off or spiraling towards suicide.

I got to hear over and over again that it was not my fault.

I got to process the trauma. Grieve. Heal.

Though Dave’s last attempt was over a year ago, I’m still processing it. It still affects me. The fears and anxieties still erupt and Individual therapy has been critical in helping me get through that year.

I am doing individual therapy to take care of me. To help me. To support me. It’s what I need and I’m doing it to take care of me.

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3 thoughts on “Individual Therapy–Self Care For Me

  1. Feeling alone says:

    Thank u for ur honesty. It has been 9 months since my husbands attempt and I still go to therapy mostly for me. I love what u said about hearing over and over again that it is not my fault. The self blame is horrible.

    • Hi Feeling Alone–You’re welcome. This blog has been a way for me to voice my struggles. Therapy has been such a great source of support and encouragement for me, and has helped me to identify and change some of the misplaced blame that I placed on myself. “It’s not your fault. It was his choice.” I needed to hear that. I am glad that you are going to therapy–self care is so important for us : )

  2. Anonymous says:

    This is so reassuring to read. Thank u for ur honesty.

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