Aftermath part 2: Humiliation and shame–At the emergency room after spouse’s near attempt.

This week I struggled a couple of times with telling Dave something and then immediately regretting saying what I said. My heart beats fast, and I am panicked, anxious that I may have Continue reading

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Aftermath Part 1: Humiliation and shame–At the emergency room after spouse’s near attempt. Part 1

This was a good week for us.  And it’s important for me to acknowledge that and celebrate it.  I think there may be better days ahead because a major stressor has wound down.  I’m not sure what to post.  Something recent? Something in the past?  But I look at the recent stuff and it’s a little too raw.  Too fresh to put out there.

So I’m posting something from my past. From my journal.  This entry is part of a longer journal entry I wrote after the event, describing the night of his first serious attempt that occurred more than 5 years ago.  My husband called me, his family, and friends and said his goodbyes.  A bunch of people searched for him, and miraculously he was found by a cousin.

JOURNAL ENTRY:

My dad insists on taking me to the hospital.  I’m relieved.  I don’t want to be alone.  We pull into the parking lot and David’s family pulls in at the same time. It’s awkward.  I don’t know what Continue reading