Suicidal, Again?!

The night before, Dave was getting his tax papers together for the accountant.  He was late, very late with the taxes. This was his secret. And he had been carrying it for awhile, alone. Financial issues like this set the stage for attempts in the past, so it should not be a surprise that Dave made a gesture.  Nothing life threatening but it’s a red flag.  (I didn’t know about the delayed filing of the taxes at the time, but it makes sense, if he was struggling with that, no wonder he was so sensitive as he was already spinning negative thoughts that can lead him down dark paths).

Seeing him make a gesture, flooded me with my own fears and put me Continue reading

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Fears Triggered

Looking back a couple weeks ago, at my previous post, I thought that I had most of my fears about Dave attempting again, beat. Now I realize that my fears were merely compartmentalized, tucked away, ready to spring into action when some trigger, some reminder set them off.

The day after I wrote the previous post–I was in my therapy session tearfully explaining Continue reading